Fakes

Never in my life,

I thought this was safe,

But it was all a bunch of lies,

I can see it in your eyes,

I'm tired of your excuses,

I'm tired of your hypocrisy,

I don't have time for this,

It's the same shit everyday,

I ran out of things to say to you,

And I couldn't be bothered,

You're still you,

It's your turn to take the lead,

Fool me once shame on you,

Fool me twice shame on me.

Turning Point

It's been like forever,

It looks like a never,

I got my back against the wall,

Still I'm standing tall,

This looks familiar,

Yet it appears to be so far,

Sounds like the story of my life,

Just when you just wanted be safe,

Life hits you hard straight to your testicles,

And you can feel as if you're forming bubbles,

But you know you got to move,

There's no time,

You have to get up,

You have to fix your own screwup,

The only person you can count is nobody but yourself,

It's time to throw the sorries and the goodbyes to the shelf,

Get up...get up now...before it's too late.

Fading

Here I am waiting,

Can't stop the feeling,

It's always been like this,

I can't help to feel as if something is amiss,

I'm trying to figure it out,

As the big tree was once a little nut,

Which held is ground,

But all you wanted is to be safe & sound,

I'm not sure what I'm suppose to do now,

For you or for me,

They say I put on a show,

But in fact, I was just trying to live my life..... :(

=(

I want sleep, but sleep doesn't want me...

Wind Beneath Your Wings

One day you'll find the light again,

And you'll never feel the same pain,

Don't be overcome by sadness,

Let your love lead through the darkness,

It may seem lonely at first,

But all you need is the sudden burst,

A tiny spark to light your way,

Till it's time for a new day.

:)

Humility

Every breath you take,
Every wrong turn you make,
There's a mistake,
A mistake of thinking about the word "ME",

And when you thought you could live with it,
Reality comes in and kicks you right into the pit,
Then you wonder is there a right or wrong,
Or whether it's just a crazy song,

Thoughts become actions,
Actions become justifications,
Justification to a cause,
Like a short fuse,

Burning just a for moment,
Enough to scare away everything,
And suddenly you turn silent,
Knowing your life is decided by the supreme being,

You begin to understand humility goes a long way.

Perspective

You probably heard a story,

Which probably says I'm crazy,

Alone drinking my cup of tea,

Trapped in the roaring sea,

And just when I thought I was safe,

You found me in my hiding place,

I don't know what to say,

As I'm just hoping for another day.

Wave after wave of emotions,

After countless execution of operations,

Nothing seems to work,

Then finally you decided to close the bottle with the cork,

And just for that one day,

You dropped the bottle,

And you wish you could've stay,

But you're now crippled,

Not knowing what to do,

You decided on the next best thing,

To let the winds and waves of the sea,

To take you to your next destination.

:)

Was a little down,
And there she was turning my frown,
Into a smile,
You took the extra mile,

For that, I am grateful,
And here I am with a little tearful,
It's like you could read my mind,
When I was a little blind,

I was a little sleepy when you woke me up,
You nudged me like a little buttercup,
It's strange the simplest things in life keep you going,
And for a moment, it felt like you could take upon almost anything,

I'm not sure what happens tomorrow,
But I'm glad you're here to remove my sorrow,

I want you to know I'll always have your back,
Even if the whole world turn against you,
So just layback,
And know that you need not worry if you have problems you can't handle on you.

Crazy

A segment of my usual group chat.

He's CrazyZal. He's already on the other side. Once he is crazy, there is no turning back for him.

Move

I'm looking back at something,
On something which is now nothing,
I know I'm crazy,
And now I'm being plain lazy,

But I know I have to move,
With or without love,
It's funny how a simple message can light up your day,
And sometimes the most hurtful things are the things you say,

God grant me strength,
As I'm losing my faith,
But I still thank you for the things you have done for me,
I've no regrets if this is my time,

My heart is in your hands,
I'm not sure if I'll ever understand,
But I'll never stop,
Not even at the last drop.

Arigato

I know this isn't the end,
It's merely the beginning,
It's like being a quicksand,
Trapped and wondering,

Trying to set yourself free,
Only seeing yourself sink even deeper,
Can't you see,
It's nothing but a faint whisper,

Waiting for it to stop,
Waiting for a rope,
Just like a raindrop,
Just a small trickle of hope.


Thank you...

Faith

Well I guess it would be nice
If I could touch your body
I know not everybody
Has got a body like you

But I've got to think twice
Before I give my heart away
And I know all the games you play
Because I play them too

Oh but I
Need some time off from that emotion
Time to pick my heart up off the floor
And when that love comes down
Without devotion
Well it takes a strong man baby
But I'm showing you the door

'Cause I gotta have faith...

Baby
I know you're asking me to stay
Say please, please, please, don't go away
You say I'm giving you the blues
Maybe
You mean every word you say
Can't help but think of yesterday
And another who tied me down to loverboy rules

Before this river
Becomes an ocean
Before you throw my heart back on the floor
Oh baby I reconsider
My foolish notion
Well I need someone to hold me
But I'll wait for something more

Yes I've gotta have faith...

George Michael - Faith

*MmmMmmmmMmmMM*

A little loose

I thought it would last,
That's why I kept looking back at the past,
It was the sweetest mistake,
Yet here I stand, walking alone by the lake,

I don't need you to understand,
You never did,
It feels like I'm trapped alone in an island,
Like a star which is now an asteroid,

Falling and falling,
Seems like it's never stopping,
I sit here, waiting for a sign,
Like a self-destruct campaign,

Which I'm trying to deactivate,
I hope you won't be late,
Cause I'm not sure how long I can hold,
I don't know what you were told,
But I'm only a shadow of my former self,
Like a broken clock on top of a dusty shelf.

God, I could use a little help.

Mask

I know that look,

You're holding back,

You're afraid to get hurt,

As I'm covered with dirt,

I'm smiling,

Trying to hide the faint cry in my heart,

I'm laughing,

Ignoring the missing pieces that is now apart,

I don't know what to say,

I'm losing myself day by day,

I'm afraid to talk,

Fearing what I say will only scare you away,

I begin to fall and sulk,

Wishing I knew the words to say,

So I stand here, looking from a distance,

Content with just the smile in your face,

Wearing a mask as you look upon me,

Hoping it will hold,

My heart is bleeding inside,

But my desire will never be said,

As I'm tired,

A little scared and afraid,

Losing the pieces which completes me,

Trying to look the same.

By wearing a mask with a smile on the face,

Hiding whatever emotions, in order to move at my own pace.

Broken

Trying to mend the pieces,
The pieces of what was broken,
The pieces which was covered with lies,
My heart begins to darken,

It begins to lose it's usual calm,
Like it is stuck in another realm,

I tried picking the pieces up,
Only to cut myself deeper,
Tried getting myself up,
Only to be trapped within my own temper,

I had my doubts,
I paid my debts,
It didn't seem enough,
Trying to break through,

Here I lie broken again,
Trying to find some meaning,
Hoping to end the pain,
Broken and barely breathing.

The Blank Pages

God, if you're there,

I could use a sign,

I don't know how I fare,

It was just a simple design,

I'm beginning to lose it,

There are no more candles which I see lit,

The darkness is what's left,

My heart is now soft,

It's not as strong as it use to be,

Maybe it's just me,

But I could use a little help,

I'm beating myself up into a pulp.

Pressing On

A little tired,
A little exhausted,
Running out of time,
Torn with a choice,
There's no turning back now,
No time for sorrow,
No time for fear,
Must protect the things you hold dear.

Out of the frying pan, into the fire..

Nuff said... :'(

Round Two

So this is again,
Oh yea, just a little pain,
Just a little far out,
Trusting my gut,
I need to go,
To get my ammo,
To prepare for what I failed to accomplish the first time,
It felt the same,
With a little difference,
With a little elegance,
With a little confidence,
And with a little peace.

BirthDaaaaaYyyy Dedication :)

Oh no, look what day it is today,
I don't know what to say,
It looks like someone is getting older AGAIN,
Maybe she can forget it with a tonic & gin,
It's been a while,
Here's a candle,
With a muffin,
To Wish You A Happy Birthday!! Livon




CONGRATULATIONS!! YOU'RE NOW A YEAR OLDER AGAIN!!
Now go away and have some fun ... =)

kthxbai....

The Wait

I was waiting for you between the crossroads of yesterday and tomorrow,

And there I was waiting next to the morning dew,

Wondering if you would come along,

Perhaps after I sing you a song,

Maybe I'm hallucinating,

Maybe I'm just waiting,

Maybe it's just the same pain,

All alone again.

The Spam Mail Which Caught My Attention

When things in your life seem , almost too much to handle, When 24 Hours in a day is not enough, Remember the mayonnaise jar and 2 cups of coffee. A professor stood before his philosophy class And had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly, He picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students, if the jar was full. They agreed that it was. The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar.

He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open Areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was. The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full.

The students responded with a unanimous 'yes.' The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed. 'Now,' said the professor, as the laughter subsided, 'I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life.

The golf balls are the important things - family, children, health, Friends, and Favorite passions – Things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, Your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, house, and car. The sand is everything else --The small stuff. 'If you put the sand into the jar first,' He continued, 'there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, You will never have room for the things that are important to you.

So... Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play With your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner out to dinner. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal. 'Take care of the golf balls first -- The things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.'

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented. The professor smiled. 'I'm glad you asked'. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend.'

How?

I was searching for answers.. and then it came to me..

How does one get over something you hold dear?

You don't. If it's meant to be, it'll come back to you sooner or later.

If for some strange reasons it still doesn't return after ages of wait, know that you'll never 'get over' something like that, but it's still going to be okay.

This is because, such event punches a huge hole in your life; and that hole never goes away, so at first you're always falling into it. You try throwing boards across it, but they're unreliable. They break, they rot, they slip, you slip.

Then you try to fill it in; but you can't tell how deep it is, so you can't tell how much life it's going to take to fill it, or where you're going to get it from.

Besides, whatever you throw in it is gone, buried. Your only real alternative is to build more life around the hole.

The more life you build, the smaller a part of your whole life it is, and the easier it is to navigate around it without falling in.

Turning Point

It was stunning,

To finally being able to breath again,

Without pondering,

Without the attached pain,

Of what if's and what not.

To be able to live your life without regret,

There are stuffs you'll never forget,

And stuffs you'll always keep to your heart,

But whatever is, don't be afraid to love,

In whatever place,

Or for the change,

Just let it be.

And pray you can live with your choice,

If you have regrets on your wake,

Then it's time you fix it at your own pace,

Not doing so, would just not be smart,

Whether it's reconnecting with the past,

Or just throwing it all to your last effort.

The past is something you learn from, you MUST act on the present to shape the future.

Farewell..

Torn 3

Someday we're figure this all out,
Whether it's a lie or not,
And just how good it can get,
Simply by enjoying the beautiful sunset,
Take a walk with me,
Things might not be the same,
But the moment spent and taken,
Can never be forgotten.

Torn 2

Been talking to myself lately,
My mind is drifting apart slowly,
Wondering whether anything I do is right,
She might be gone without a thought,
I'm clinging to hope,
Hoping it's not too late,
It's another day for pain,
Another day for the rain,
I try to hold this tears,
By overcoming my fears,
Are you there?
Or am I just a bore...

Torn

I was torn between my own decisions and time,

I've always wonder if there's a right or wrong choice,

Whether there's a turning point to your heart,

As I am slowly falling apart,

I don't know what's there do,

As all I need for you to say it isn't so,

There's only so much a heart can take,

Hoping it's not fake,

But between the rights and wrongs,

My life could be sang by so many sad songs,

Watching as you slowly drift away,

Being without you everyday.

Her Diamonds

Oh what the hell she says
I just can't win for losing
And she lays back down
Man there's so many times
I don't know what I’m doin'
Like I don't know now

By the light of the moon
She rubs her eyes
Says it's funny how the night
Can make you blind
I can just imagine
And I don't know what I’m supposed to do
But if she feels bad then I do too
So I let her be

And she says oooh
I can't take no more
Her tears like diamonds on the floor
And her diamonds bring me down
Cuz I can't help her now
She’s down in it
She tried her best and now she can't win it's
Hard to see them on the ground
Her diamonds falling down

She sits down and stares into the distance
And it takes all night
And I know I could break her concentration
But it don't feel right

By the light of the moon
She rubs her eyes
Sits down on the bed and starts to cry
And there's something less about her
And I don't know what I’m supposed to do
So I sit down and I cry too
And don't let her see

And she says oooh
I can't take no more
Her tears like diamonds on the floor
And her diamonds bring me down
Cuz I can't help her now
She’s down in it
She tried her best and now she can't win it's
Hard to see them on the ground
Her diamonds falling down

She shuts out the night
Tries to close her eyes
If she can find daylight
She’ll be all right
She’ll be all right
Just not tonight

And she says oooh
I can't take no more
Her tears like diamonds on the floor
And her diamonds bring me down
Cuz I can't help her now
She’s down in it
She tried her best and now she can't win it's
Hard to see them on the ground
Her diamonds falling down


Rob Thomas - Her Diamonds

Hello You

I was looking around,
I never knew that you could be found,
But there you were,
Right in front of me,
Whenever I'm with you my troubles seem to fade away,
And finally for once, I feel I'm breathing,
My heart was taken away by your smile,
Hoping you'll stay a little while,
How could I be so blind,
I never knew you were in my mind,
Isn't life unbelievable,
You were there when I just lost hope.

Hello You.. :)

Again

The same crossings,
The same pain,
Again and again,
Waiting for it to pass,
Hoping it to be a miss,
Instead of a loss,
Of what was thought after time and time,
Was it too late,
Was it fate,
It's the same situation,
In a different direction,
Without a hint of satisfaction,
But for the sake of infatuation, motivation, and application.

The Beginning of The End

I'm building, or more specifically drawing something new.

It's going to be

Legend ... wait for it..... darrryy.....

Wassup MACHA!

I Need Another Me

There's not enough time,
I need another me,
So many choices,
So many faces,
Even the act of being inactive is actually an action,
It's a different sensation,
So many paths,
So many decisions,
You wish you could walk them all,
Standing tall,
Whether it's wrong or right,
Whether it's day or night,
You feel out of touch,
When you could regret something so much,
Not knowing whether of the end result,
Thinking its your fault,
Wondering what will happen if another path was taken,
Hoping you're the awaken.

The Call

I'm waiting for a call,
Right across the hall,
Wondering when it would ring,
Waiting over nothing,
Hoping it will be something,
Maybe I could sing,
Then maybe it would ring,
What a strange little thing.

Holding On

You feel a little strange,
When you feel the usual fiery hate,
Or perhaps the passionate love,
That you once used to have seem to lose it's natural taste,
The guidance of thy will and desire,
Can no longer satisfy what's to come,
It's like being trapped in a maze,
Trying to move,
Trying to live,
Wondering whether I'm progressing in the puzzle of life.

Moo

The day of red packets,
The day where you see exploding rockets,
Extremely sweet mandarin oranges,
The day where kids drink alcoholic beverages,
Yes, it's that day again,
The day where eating too much is not a sin, *yeah right*

But what the heck,
Happy *Niu* Year... :)

Random Thought

Where's the light at the end of the tunnel when you need it?

Exam Feeling

This is what I'm feeling...













Feeling *dead* after putting the flag up...

Scream

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Current State of Mind

I picked up the book,
It gave me a strange look,
It was staring back at me,
Felt like love,
Or is it more like hate,
A hate like?
Or a love like hate?
True love hate like?
Freight, Surcharges/Discounts, Taxes, Price?
Good Issue, Picking Packing?
Transfer Order? Consignment Fill up?
Consignment Reverse Order, Consignment Pick Up?
Completion A? Completion B?

Craving

Don't you say a word tonight,
Just give me one more minute,
To say these words of mine,
I'm caught with a sight,
Being here all alone,
But it's alright,
Coming home late at night,
In this christmas eve,
Such a strange twist of fate,
A crazy man being blue,
Over something silly as taste.



turrrpPPPOorrkkkYyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Choices

Torn between two hard choices...


Turk??


or


Pork??





Life is so sad... :(

Strange Love

It doesn't seem to make sense,
I can't find the perfect taste,
Searching high and low for your secret love,
Hoping that such love would be returned to me,
Your smell haunts me as I walk pass the corner,
It makes my heart beat weaker and weaker,
My legs begin to tremble in awe of your beauty,
The sight of you just seems to make my day,








How can I move on when I'm still in love with you?

Dedication

Another day,
For another say,
I swear I wanted to give you a holler,
But I don't have your number,
Perhaps that sounded cliche,
But I guess that's just part of me,


Whatever it is, all I really wanted to say,

Was... Happy B'Day Livon!!!!

P.S :- Here's a cheap-ass cake picture for you..kekeke ^_^

Turning Point

Close your eyes,
Listen as the music fade,
Those awful cries,
The cries of your heart as she begin to leave,

I'll always be around to keep an eye,
How could I leave someone with such a wonderful smile,
Seeing your face everywhere,
Your actions were so sincere,

Yet I turn my face away,
When I knew my whole world would turn grey,
I knew you'll never love me,
Though I knew you were the one.

Shine

Our life is like a candle,
Shining brightly for a moment,
Only wise ones would appreciate,
The beauty of it's enchantment,
Though the candle's time is limited,
It continues to shine brightly,
Till it reaches it's end,
So don't you dare to live aimlessly,
For our time is short,
And we'll never know what will happen.


So what have you done today worthy of a shine?

Repetition

A routine activity,
A pleasure without creativity,
A certain choice,
Not through the fate of a dice,
Unsure of the path,
Wondering what's beyond death,
Perhaps you could understand the situation,
Of your direction,
Maybe once,
Unlikely twice.

Pork

I'm not a dork,
I just want to eat pork,
I don't need a fork,
I just need to have my pork,
Not a duck,
But just plain old pork,
It's not a lot of work,
Just get me my pork.

Come With Me

It's the simplest thing,
Of the simplest feeling,
Take me to your heart,
Just make sure we're not apart,
Give me your hand,
I'll bring you to a new land,
Where we could sit enjoy the cool breeze,
Listen to your heart and be amaze,
Let nothing stop your imagination,
Bring your soul to a state of affirmation,
To understand it's glory and beauty,
In a state of clarity.

The Quest For

B . A . B . I

The Square Root of 3 Poem

The most awesome poem I've encountered :-


I’m sure that I will always be
A lonely number like root three

The three is all that’s good and right,
Why must my three keep out of sight
Beneath the vicious square root sign,
I wish instead I were a nine

For nine could thwart this evil trick,
with just some quick arithmetic

I know I’ll never see the sun, as 1.7321
Such is my reality, a sad irrationality

When hark! What is this I see,
Another square root of a three

As quietly co-waltzing by,
Together now we multiply
To form a number we prefer,
Rejoicing as an integer

We break free from our mortal bonds
With the wave of magic wands

Our square root signs become unglued
Your love for me has been renewed.


- Harold & Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay

Glimmer

I want to put your picture in the frame,
Making sure it will always stay the same,
To live a lie for that one short moment,
Holding on to that small piece of attachment,
I cannot undo the past,
As nothing seem to last,
But as long as I'm alive I feel I have the chance,
To perhaps atone,
But is it necessary?
Or maybe just fallacy.

Ramblings

Would you say those words again?
Beneath the surface under the rain,
It's just a whisper that I'm trying to hear,
Trying so hard to be near,
Yet, all efforts were in vain,
Nothing I could do to ease the pain,
You could walk a thousand miles,
And see many exiles,
Exiles of your own thought,
Tainted by what was sought.

Right...

Lol, bite me..*evil laughs*

Boredom..

Bye

Dream

I was searching frantically for a reason,
Based on my silly vision,
Please be there I prayed,
Only to find out that my feelings were betrayed,
Hold on to me I said,
Don't be afraid,
There's always tomorrow,
So spread your wings like a sparrow,
Soaring above the skies without a care for the world,
Where I become your shield,
A tear fell from my eye,
As I saw you smile.

TechTalk...

Above It All

Cycling by the tracks of the valley,
Seeing familiar signs and enjoying the sweet taste of honey,
Such a lovely sight being on top of it all,
A sweet memory that I would love to recall,
Spreading your arms and feeling the breeze,
All your troubles just seem to dematerialize,
Don't you just wish for it to end,
I just wish you didn't feel offended,
But such words are my truth,
Which is the cost of my youth,
Above it all,
I hope you stand tall.

Food

Caution

A Fool

An algorithm for perfection,
An act of passion,
When you thought it's over,
You feel like dancing on the dance floor,
Every action has its own reaction,
To what ends meet anticipation,
My love has always been a one way street,
For that I've always lived without regret,
Was I ever feeling what I need,
It's like we've just gotten acquainted,
It feels like jumping off a plane,
Nothing beats being insane,
Will it ever end,
Or perhaps it's just better descend,
From wherever I am,
Or whatever you dream,
I won't look back,
Heck, I'll just grab a snack,
Sitting here waiting,
Accumulating,
All these false hopes and fats,
Being stepped like bloody doormats.

Hmm

"If you seek to aid everyone that suffers in the galaxy, you will only weaken yourself … and weaken them. It is the internal struggles, when fought and won on their own, that yield the strongest rewards. You stole that struggle from them, cheapened it. If you care for others, then dispense with pity and sacrifice and recognize the value in letting them fight their own battles. And when they triumph, they will be even stronger for the victory."

―Kreia to Jedi Exile (Knights of the Old Republic II)

Bloody

Bloody wisdom tooth,
Like Jedi's little Sith,
Such a small part,
Giving tremendous pressure to your heart,
Trying to sleep,
But all you can say is *beep*.

Pain

Something has been bugging me for ages,
Its been going on and on for days,
The end nerve of my jaw,
It's like a needle on a cat's paw,
Here I am lying down,
Beginning to frown,
Wasting my time over and over again,
Annoyed with this bloody pain,


frigging wisdom tooth...

...

LOL!

^.^

MmMMmmm

Ramblings

Would you stay a while?
She was there,
I was here,
There is there,
Here is here,
You know you're insane,
When you keep your mind in a file,
Or was it me?
Or what has become?

Just Another Day

It was late at night,
I'm still stuck here for the night,
Doing something for the future,
Hoping that its not too late,
It didn't take too long,
I finished it and began to play my favourite song,
I took my time,
I knew it was Valentine,
Driving around the pyramid like it's driving test,
Finding a spot for my dearest,
Settled down and stared at the sky,
Hoping that time would fly,
Always never knowing what would happen,
Longing to see the moon.

Classic

Fly

Staring at the sky hoping to fly,
Praying it's not my time everyday,
A silly prayer over a silly life,
Knowing that tomorrow is another hassle,
Don't want to make it up,
Didn't plan for it to flop,
Life depends on what he decides,
I don't want to choose sides,
Who is he,
I don't know but I guess I fade,
Wishing to fly far away from here,
Only to fall flat on your face.

Ramblings

I saw you before,
It was such an eyesore,
Or maybe it was a dream again,
But I can feel no pain,
If I could turn back time,
Would it be the same,
Probably not,
Guess I am nut,
Or does it even matter,
Here's my heart on a silver platter.

驚くこと

Was it twisted fate?
We used to have the same smile,
Perhaps the same pride as well,
But now is something which I can't tell,
Standing tall above an ivory tower of nothingness,
Only known by it's foolishness,
What is this glow I see beyond the horizon,
Something which kept me going on,
Such feeble thoughts,
Such captivating sights,
Every step tuned towards your heartbeat,
Emotions covered by a tainted sight,
When you begin to rationalize,
You begin to understand more about it without feeling daze.

Ashes

Staring outside the window at the forgotten shape,
Hoping it would be a twist of fate,
I was torn apart,
Not knowing of the sight,
Let alone to watch it swell,
It was so dull,
Like pieces falling from the night sky,
Not even a sight of joy,
It rips apart everything i hold dear,
I was told not to have fear,
But it's the only thing which kept me going,
Which kept me breathing.

o_O?

I was trying something,
Perhaps it involves a little singing,
Though it would be disturbing,
But I'm pretty sure it would be fun,
Like having a picnic under the sun,
Or shooting yourself with a gun,
Wait a minute was that right,
But it could be an awful sight,
Then again you won't see anything since it's night.

O_o?

It's Over

Memory

Why do you give such a frown,
Don't you dare drown,
It's not like I won't see you again,
Though all I can feel is this unbearable pain,
I don't you want you to leave,
I just want you to be,
Whatever you choose to be,
And whatever your heart desires,
I'm no longer the person I thought I was few years back,
I can feel my heart being a little bit black,
Or perhaps it was just my feelings,
As I stare at the ceiling,
Waiting for something,
Knowing there's nothing.

Thoughts

As I stare at the beautiful golden sand,
As I took another step on this alluring land,
I was captivated by it's scenes,
Yet irritated by the unforeseen circumstances,
I've yet to grasp the concept,
Perhaps I was still inept,
But the taint and stupidity was unacceptable,
If only I was a little capable,
Then maybe it would work,
Instead of acting like a dork.

Morning

The sunshine wakes me up from my slumber,
Hopefully I'll be a little sober,
Mmm such joy,
Mmm I feel like I can fly,
As I thought I was about to be gone,
It sends the shiver to my funny-bone,
It's a new day,
There's lot of things to say,
But I hope you have the time,
And you stay the same,
It's a new beginning,
To start thinking,
To start moving,
And to start working.

Outside

I'm on the outside looking on the inside,
Hoping not to fade,
Wishing for tomorrow,
Feeling my heart beating slow,
Waiting for something,
Hoping for nothing,
The things you wanted to say,
Save it for another day,
I don't feel like hearing,
I don't feel like thinking,
Watching from the outside,
Seeing it being ripped apart from the inside..

Blood

The dashing colour of red,
The tainted yet beautiful,
The significance colour of the dead,
The art of a fool,
What's not to bleed,
Is a sign of being bored,
Of self-inflicting pain enthusiasm,
Towards what is called an asylum,
For the fainted heart and soul,
Towards being a pitiful ghoul.

Ramblings

It's time to get up your feet,
It's the moment where we should meet,
You hear a voice,
As you roll the dice,
The dice of fate,
As you're about to open the gate,
The possibilities which you can achieve seems infinite,
Without a doubt,
You can accomplish what you have thought.

Ramblings

The bed I sleep has become my coffin,
I was at the crossing eating my muffin,
Wondering how it even got there,
And wondering what they were,
I couldn't feel fear at that moment,
They were staring back at me at the bent,
Their eyes were drown with sorrow,
And I was feeling blue and mellow,
I waved at them,
There were no response from them,
Where am I?
I could not speak,
The air grows thinner every moment,
I'm trapped,
Let me out,
Maybe that's not what I thought.

Weirdness

I died in my dreams today,
That feeling was so gay,
It's like eating on hay,
Though eating hay would also be gay,
I've never felt like that before,
The heart feeling so sore,
Lazing around,
Hoping to be found,
Only to scream,
And stuck eating a piece of ham.

Morning Blues

You wake up in the morning,
Hoping you're still living,
But your heart wishes otherwise,
You begin to lose track of time,
Wondering whether to continue your sleep,
Or to start a new day without having to stop,
I'm not sure what the future holds for me,
I'm not certain whether you're right for me,
I do not recognize the man I see the mirror,
Or this person who I hear from far,
These voices are haunting in my sleep,
Though I feel I'm at the top,
I don't know where I am,
And that has cause me to hit rock-bottom,
I don't know what is this,
I just pray i know the right words.

Still Alive

This was a triumph.
I'm making a note here: HUGE SUCCESS.
It's hard to overstate my satisfaction.
Aperture Science
We do what we must
because we can.
For the good of all of us.
Except the ones who are dead.
But there's no sense crying over every mistake.
You just keep on trying till you run out of cake.
And the Science gets done.
And you make a neat gun.
For the people who are still alive.
I'm not even angry.
I'm being so sincere right now.
Even though you broke my heart.
And killed me.
And tore me to pieces.
And threw every piece into a fire.
As they burned it hurt because I was so happy for you!
Now these points of data make a beautiful line.
And we're out of beta.
We're releasing on time.
So I'm GLaD. I got burned.
Think of all the things we learned
for the people who are still alive.
Go ahead and leave me.
I think I prefer to stay inside.
Maybe you'll find someone else to help you.
Maybe Black Mesa
THAT WAS A JOKE.
HAHA. FAT CHANCE.
Anyway, this cake is great.
It's so delicious and moist.
Look at me still talking
when there's Science to do.
When I look out there, it makes me GLaD I'm not you.
I've experiments to run.
There is research to be done.
On the people who are still alive.
And believe me I am still alive.
I'm doing Science and I'm still alive.
I feel FANTASTIC and I'm still alive.
While you're dying I'll be still alive.
And when you're dead I will be still alive.
STILL ALIVE (x2)



Funky song from Portal... here's the link

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RthZgszykLs

Get the game if you have the money, it's worth it ..


The link for the song
http://files.filefront.com/portal+still+aliverar/;8768347;/fileinfo.html

Ramblings

Was looking for a reason,
Finding for a motivation,
Just a son,
Who became a man,
I don't know what's ahead of me,
But I'm sure I can't be the same,
I can't let it happen,
It's a reason,
Or is a liability,
Perhaps if I understand it fully,
But who am I to judge,
I'm not even a sage,
Why am I acting so old,
I'm feeling bald,
Then again I already am,
Who knows???

C'est La Vie (That is life)

I want to jump off a plane,
You can call me insane,
It's not like I cared anyway,
I know you should never let a chance fly by,
As time only move forward,
And me being weird,
Life just seems to be simple that way,
Whether it's just fishing at the bay,
Looking at people's reaction,
Whether it is giving affection,
Or receiving a kick on the groin,
Perhaps picking up a coin,
To have a fortune told,
Or turning things into gold,
It's all up to the individual,
You can take a dive like a seal,
To enjoy the calm of the ocean,
Or be an asshole just to be mean,
Like it or not,
It's what you got,

Past

I couldn't say sorry,
Don't worry,
It will all be okay,
As long as I remembered what to say,
Don't you cry,
It's just a small fry,
You'll find another one soon,
So just have some fun,
If you keep thinking about the past,
You'll end up being last,
Falling behind,
Losing your mind,
Wishing you could turn back time,
Wishing everything could be the same,
Losing your feelings,
Losing your senses,
Staring blankly,
Repeating the lullaby,
Thinking it over and over again,
And when you start to feel pain,
That is when you know you're alive,
And you know you have to move.

Out of My Mind

You keep me running,
Going and coming,
Everyday you change your mind,
Someone like you is hard to find,
You drive me crazy,
Making me so sleazy,
Life is a game,
And you're taking your time,
I love this feeling of being out of control,
Is like living without a goal,
Where there are no strings attached,
And your problems are detached.

Complicated Heart

It's hard to hold a conversation,
With all this distraction,
The feelings I have is tough,
I feel my words are not enough,
Why are you looking at me that way?
Do you have something say?
You're smiling again,
Am I being a pain?
Or do you just find my actions silly,
If only I could understand you fully,
Then I won't make wrong judgments,
And perhaps I could make some amendments,
Being in the elevator,
Seeing that you being a star,
Consuming the air I breath,
Like some sort of Dark Sith,
But I've seen you before,
I've never seen you tore,
Nor have I seen you fall,
You've always stood tall,
Speaking your mind and heart desire,
Hearing your voice only makes me want you more,
It was captivating,
It was exhilarating,
I don't understand myself anymore,
Why am I being such a sore.

Tired

I'm so tired,
I'm staring at my bed,
Gazing at the stars,
Flipping the pages,
Waiting for the time to pass by,
Enjoying my favorite lullaby,
Looking through cards and pictures,
Laughing at all those funny faces,
Being emotional over nothing,
Tried laughing,
Didn't work,
Hoping I'll get my mind back,
Taking my time,
Being my own pace,
Falling asleep,
Taking a nap.

Core Dump

I got a core dump,
I'm feeling so slump,
I got another 6 hours before my due date,
Perhaps I should accept my fate,
Been killing my brain cells,
I'm hearing the ringing of the bells,
It's about time,
But I'm feeling the same,
I don't want to quit,
But all I can do is sit,
Such a day,
Come what may,
If only i could simplify,
Then I could rectify,
Screw this,
What a fuss,
I'm off to bed,
Don't want to be sad.

Broken Thread

Missing the days,
Missing the nights,
Feeling sorry for what I've done,
Seeing that you're gone,
Maybe you were right,
Maybe I've should have fight,
But it was too late,
As I could see you walking towards the gate,
I wish I could say the words,
But my faint heart could not play the proper chords,
I'm regretting over the past,
Wish my heart could get over it fast,
You will always be there in my heart,
It's like a never-ending art,
The waves of my love,
Like the beautiful wings of the dove,
I could never forget your voice,
As it has always given me grace,
I do not seek forgiveness,
I only hope you found happiness.

Coding Jumping

I've seen this before,
There is it again through the core,
Why wouldn't you compile?
Why couldn't I handle this file?
Why am I doing this again?
Is there anything to gain?
I'm losing my mind,
It's not like it could find,
Was it the syntax,
Or did it went to the wrong fax,
Perhaps I'm doing it wrong,
Perhaps I'm hitting the gong,
Is not liked you care,
Is not liked I gave you a dare,
I wasn't pretending,
I was just coding,
Maybe a little compiling,
And a little dreaming,
It's another while statement,
Or is a switch management,
This if doesn't look right,
Oh it's such an awful sight.

Tralala (Random)

It's a day,
It's at a bay,
What's there to say,
Come what may,
I know not you,
You know not I,
I don't care,
But you gave a dare,
It's a bee,
For what's to see,
Jumping in glee,
There it is, let's flee!!!!


Song Recommendation:
Funky beat (From an ex-member of M2M)
Marit Larsen - Don't Save Me
Marit Larsen - Under The Surface (My Fav)
----
Enjoy!

Tomfoolery

We all heard it before,
And we've always wanted more,
We wouldn't want nothing but to touch,
But doing so will be too much,
As it will be too late,
Till we make our first mistake,
I know what I did was wrong,
But you don't know what you got till it's gone,
When everyday seem so long,
All you wanted to do is to sit under the sun,
And have some fun.

Lost For Words

I was seeking for a direction,
It was a harmless intention,
But I was stuck at this location,
Looking a way out for this situation,
All I could do is to weep in desperation,
When all I wanted to do was to hold you in admiration,
Whether it's right or wrong it's just an intuition,
A possible infatuation,
Which I hope you could have a conversation,
To which is of an observation,
Perhaps to my examination,
Of what I thought was my emotion.

Solitario

Let the silence be your friend,
Let your mind take you away,
Let no one take away your freedom,
To want something,
To need something,
Being in imperfect place,
Where it's hard to see a friendly face,
Where asylum could only shape your soul,
Let the world keep spinning around,
Let nothing disturb you especially an angry hound,
Watch the world burn as it slowly destroy itself,
Clinging to hope,
Holding on to faith,
Knowing it's inevitable.